It’s been 2 weeks since my mother left us and I miss her. I miss her terribly.
I torture myself every moment of every day, constantly thinking of what she would say and do in each moment of my day. Her reactions were always so predictable that I know her exact response in any given situation. Right now she’s calling me “crazy” for being so sad and “ugly” for all the ugly-crying that I’ve been doing the last few weeks. Then she’d hop in the car, disappear for a while, return with pizza, sweets, an iced mocha, a singing stuffed animal, or anything she can think of to make me smile even just for a little bit. And it wasn’t what she brought me that made me smile. It was that look of pure joy on her face when she presented me with her little surprise because she knew it would make me smile. My mother was the best mom and human being overall. She was the absolute most special person I have ever known and her passing has turned our family upside down… and also the lives of many, many, many others of whom she has touched in so many ways. She was a spectacular woman.
In looking at my own children, I see the best parts of me. The best parts of my personality, the best parts of my spirit, and the best parts of my heart. I sit here with tears in my eyes, thinking, hoping, praying that my Mother saw her best qualities in ME. It is because of her that I am the mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, woman that I am and I hope I made her proud.
I miss her so much.
